Unlooked for inspiration flows easier into my mind when I'm halfway between awake and dreaming. The night is soothing to me for that reason. The day feels so chaotic, so busy, that I can't properly focus with all that light glaring at me. All the things that have to be done during the day is rushing your life forward so fast that you can't even grasp who and what you are for a comprehensible length of time. The night is a time of reflection for me, of slowing down life enough so that I can drink in my existence and contemplate the existence of others in a greater scope. So quiet. Ah, but I over think.
I'm becoming more "conscious" of that moment right before I drift off. Where my dreams are but shades swirling and attempting to come to life, forming fleeting shapes that I can remember when I wake in the morning. Last night, an image came to me. It was a visual culmination of all the thoughts that had flitted through my brain before I decided to give up and go to bed. This image begs to be drawn but how I'm seeing it, I'm not sure I could pull it off.
A woman screaming with pain, tearing her bright button up shirt open to reveal dark hands reaching out of her chest. Then a moment later the genderless dark figure discards the woman, now a heap of flesh and clothing, onto the ground. It looks relieved. I realize then that it is the woman truly unclothed. I understand what I saw. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to do away with the trivialities of the day to day and get in touch with what's really inside? Like the shadow of ourselves that lives deep within, desperate to be seen? It speaks of a certain degree of spirituality, I think. Breaking away from the material. But it's hard and it's painful to try. So much easier to live in the here and now. (Sigh)
Perhaps I need to put Carl Jung back up on the shelf. And also back away from the astral projection books.
So the perspective of the image I want to draw (the woman screaming) I find a bit daunting, I'm used to the straight on looks, as if we're standing right in front of them, but this woman I'm looking at from above while she has her head tilted down at the hands reaching, her eyes closed. If only I could take a photo. I find it so hard to translate what is in my head onto paper the way I see it. With meditation, it is getting better to keep a grasp on these images for longer periods of time but I don't know if it's going to be long enough. I have so many wild and beautiful things come from my head... agh. But I will attempt it. I found a few images for painful faces for reference. I won't post them here since they are not my images. I'll start on it after I'm finished with project Autumn. I spent too many years bouncing between projects which left so much unfinished.
As always, thanks for stopping by.
"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." - Carl Jung
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” - Carl Jung
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