Sleepy Hollow

I've been thinking a lot about doing drawings inspired by a condition I have. I have Narcolepsy/Cataplexy. I've come to grips with a good bit of it since childhood but there are still some aspects that bother me deeply. With medication and naps, I can somewhat deal with the loss of sleep at night and the excessive daytime sleepiness. I think it's been helping with how my body responds to stress as well, so much that my cataplexy seems under control for now. The thing that still effects me though, are the hallucinations. Auditory and visual. Hypnogogic hallucinations occur because of how close to sleep a person with narcolepsy (PWN- looks like I'm PWNING somebody, mehe) is most of the time. Dreaming while awake, you see.

So if I were to draw how it feels to be a PWN, I think it'd be a bit therapeutic. Putting my horrors on display in a creative format might change the way I look at my hallucinations. Might change how people view Narcolepsy. We'll see. 

I have a friend who's a nurse now, but some time ago she had to interview someone with a condition for her class in college. The one question I clearly remember is if I thought that Narcolepsy inspired my creativity. I'd never thought about it before that question but I'm inclined to believe that it does. With all the crazy dreams I have (mostly apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic in nature) it is hard to ignore what my subconscious wants to show me. Everything is so strange, vivid, and intense. It can also be horrific. Shadow creatures are what I see the most when I'm not actually sleeping. The more stressed out I get about it, the more of them I see until they solidify into terrifying clarity. 

Ever since I could remember and up until my late teens, I took to heart everything I saw. While most kids imagined a creep in the corner in the darkness, I was actually seeing that creep. That creep was moving around my bed, then touching me. But as an adult I came to realize that if I were to think through these experiences, become curious and analyze what's going on instead of running headlong into fear, that the hallucinations tended to recede some. So with this curiosity, comes the thought for artwork. 

I sometimes wonder if I would have such a vivid imagination if it weren't for Narcolepsy. But then, I think it's irrelevant. Even if they came up with a cure for it, I'm sure that it's been so embedded in my psyche that I wouldn't forget how to tap into my creative side. 

For now I'm going to go work on Autumn so I can finish her and put her up in the store. Pictures soon.

In the meantime, if you're curious about Narcolepsy/Cataplexy check out this. And don't ever ask me to pronounce hypnogogic. Just can't wrap my brain around it.